G

“Man, they sure don’t make snowy days like they used to,” the older man sitting next to me says.  I assume he got tired of the silence considering how close we’re sitting, and what better way to make conversation than to bring up the weather.  I sigh internally; people really need more safe topics of conversation we can have with strangers.  But my mother always taught me to be polite.

“How did they use to make snowy days?”

The old man gives me a warm look, like he’s remembering the days.  “Everything was so full of life.”

That it was, I think.

“Hey, buddy, if you’re going to get on the train, then I suggest doing so, like right now.”

I stare at the box in my hand, the shiny diamond sitting delicately atop the band glimmering at me, giving me the encouragement I need to take the next step.  Both literally and figuratively.

“Buddy-”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you,” I say a little too sharply.  “I’m getting on.”

“We don’t have all the time in the world,” the conductor says.  Then he gives me a sly smile which releases all the tension I’ve been feeling and I throw my head back in laughter.

What a hoot he is, I think.  Of course we have all the time in the world.

The music around me pulses to a soothing beat, and I can’t help but begin to sway as the rhythm takes a hold of me, taking me places that even I’ve never been before.  I let it lull me into a trance, a reprieve from everything else going on in my life, or to be more accurate, the lives of those around me.

“You’re new here, aren’t you?” a sweet but pointed voice says, pulling me out of my trance.  I turn around and find the most beautiful blue eyes – like a clear sky resting over the calmest ocean – staring up at me.  Her presence makes the tension go away that even the music couldn’t ease.

I turn on my charm.  “What gave me away?” I say smoothly.

She smirks.  “I can just tell.  It’s a gift.”  She bats her eyelashes.

“You’re very observant,” I say in the same honeyed tone.

“It’s in the fine print of the job description,” she says back in a sweet, hushed voice.

I give her a playful grin.  “What’s your name?” I ask.

She gives me a devious, playful look in return and then turns away, back to mixing drinks for the couple sitting to my left.

Okay, keep your secrets, I think with a smirk.  This is going to be fun.

“That’s a beautiful ring,” the middle-aged woman sitting next to me says.  “She must be a very lucky girl.”

“I’m hoping she sees it that way too,” I reply with a chuckle.

Then she gives me a wary look.  “With your line of work, I guess I’m just surprised.  What was so different about her than the rest of the girls on your travels?”

I’ve always hated that question.  Throughout her five years that we’ve been together, I’ve never stopped to think about the answer to that question because it never seemed to matter.  Yes, I’ve met many women on my travels, but none of them caught my eye like her.

“I’m just thinking,” the woman continues, “that in all of the centuries you’ve been to, was she really the only woman you met that sparked any interest?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” I say.  “Although it’s really none of your business.”

“My apologies,” she says.  “It’s just, most of the time travelers I meet find it a waste of time to settle down.”

“Well,” I say, looking at her.  “It’s a good thing I have nothing but time.”

“She said yes!” I exclaim as my new fiancée and I walk through the open doors of the bar she and I met at five years ago.  I see the faces of her family and friends, all beyond ecstatic at our news.  She prances around to everyone, showing off the ring, while I stand off to the side, smiling bigger than I probably ever have.

“So, you’ve really thought all this through?” a voice says from my right side.  I turn to find my best friend and fellow time trekker, Iz, standing next to me.  We both hate the term time traveler since it has a vacation-y feel to it, and what we do is far from a vacation.

My smile falters.  “I like to think I have,” I say.  “Although explaining it to her has been a bit difficult.”

“I don’t want to burst your bubble,” he says, “but this is why time trekkers rarely get married.”

“I know things will be complicated,” I say.  “Heck, they already are.  But… I love her.”

Iz sighs next to me.  “Yeah, I know you do.”

“I’m so glad you agreed to marry me,” I say.

“I’m even more glad,” she replies, still checking out the sparkle of the ring.  “You did a great job picking this out.”

“What can I say, I have an eye for beautiful things.”  I look up at her and catch her gaze.  She smiles shyly, looking down at the ground.

“You always were such a flirt,” she says.

I slide over closer to her and take her hand in mine, bringing the ring to my lips and giving it a kiss.  Then I feel the weight of the conversation I had with Iz take over.  “Look,” I say hesitantly, not wanting to ruin the mood of the day.  “There’s something we need to talk about.”  She looks at me expectantly, so I continue.  “My line of work is going to make things… difficult.  There’s a reason why time trekkers like me don’t get married very often.  The things we have to do, the amount of time we have to be gone, it’s not going to be easy for either of us.”

“I know,” she says softly.

“I’ll try to come back at times in your life where it won’t feel like I’ve been gone for long, when in reality I might be gone for years.  I just want you to know what it means to be married to me.”

She cups my face in her hands.  “I love you, and as much as I wish you could be here with me every second of the day, I know there are things out there bigger than you and me, things you have to take care of.  I’ve known that for years now, ever since you told me who you really are.”

“You’re amazing,” is all I can manage to say.

She gives me a playfully smug look.  “I won’t argue with you on that one.”

I settle in next to her and sleep overtakes me before I can do anything about it.  I dream sweet, pleasant dreams about a life with her, uninterrupted by the chaos of time.

I wake up the next morning to a notification from Iz telling me there’s an urgent matter 1,000 years into the future.  I say a quick goodbye to my sleeping fiancée and head outside, where I’m enveloped by clouds and the Time Train appears, right on schedule.

“Welcome aboard,” the conductor says.  “Take a seat anywhere.”

I nod my thanks and find Iz sitting in the back.  He holds up the small computer attached to his wrist and explains the mission we’ll be going on.  “Apparently humans from the year 3064 have developed some new technology to planet hop within seconds.  Unfortunately, an alien race called the Krager would like to use this technology to expand and take over planets quicker, which means they’re planning on attacking Earth shortly.  The Time Train will drop us off just before the attack so we have time to help defend the humans.”

Nothing new; various species like to attack Earth when they discover humans have been working on something new.  Lazy species are what I like to call them.

“That’s not the worst part,” Iz continues.  “From what I’ve gathered, there will be Time Settlers there as well.”  I tense up.  Alien races are one thing, more of a nuisance to deal with than anything, but Time Settlers are a different story.  They have the power to cause certain events at any point in time to become unchangeable, no matter the outcome.  They could allow the Krager to steal the technology to use for their own benefit and it would become a permanent event in time; Iz and I couldn’t do anything to prevent the technology from being stolen and used to torment the universe.

“It’s a good thing the Time Train moves fast then,” I say.

“No kidding,” Iz replies.  “This is one of the rare times where we don’t have all the time in the world.”

“I always forget how weird it is to go back to the past after being in such a distant future,” I say to Iz.  “The technology here seems so… primitive.”

“Maybe don’t mention that to your fiancée when you see her,” Iz jokes.  “But I completely agree with you.”

“How much time will have passed since I left?” I ask.

“Assuming the Time Train drops you off at the right station, I would say no more than a couple months to account for the five years you were gone.  All things considered, that’s not too bad.”

“You would think they could create more accurate time stations,” I inquire.

“Yeah, well most people don’t need to get to a specific time,” he replies.  “Usually a general time frame works just fine.”

I roll my eyes.  “Someone’s in a bad mood today.”

“After what we just went through and almost not making it out of there alive, you’ll have to excuse me for not being the most chipper.”

He’s right; the Krager proved to be a worthy opponent and the Time Settlers didn’t make our mission any easier.  I’ve tried to put the last five years in my timeline behind me so I can be a more present fiancé.  “I’m sorry,” I say.  “I know this time was more difficult than most.”

“I’m just surprised you’re not more upset by everything,” he says sharply.  “You’re the one that has someone waiting for you, someone to come back to.  Did you ever stop to think about how she might feel if the Time Administration had to go knock on her door and tell her that her fiancé died so far in the future that it doesn’t even matter?”

“I-”  But he’s right.  I have someone now, someone that would get very bad news if something happened to me.

“Look, I’m just exhausted,” Iz says, running a hand over his face.  “You should go home and be with her, enjoy every minute you can with her before someone else threatens our existence.”

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask him.

“What other choice do I have?”

“Hey darling, I’m home!”

I hear something like glass shatter and then a second later I see my beautiful fiancée slide around the corner into the front entryway.  Her mouth drops open and before I know it, she’s racing over to me, throwing her arms around my neck as I pick her up and swing her around.  “I thought I might never see you again,” she breathes into my neck.

“I’m so sorry for having to disappear like I did,” I say, setting her down.  Her eyes are still as blue and beautiful as the day I met her.

“It was one of the tougher mornings of my life, not seeing you when I came down for breakfast, but I figured you’d been called to save the world.”  She rests her head against my chest.  “And considering everything is still here, I assume you did your job well.”

“That’s the only way to do it,” I say, giving her a warm smile.  “Now, I assume we still have a wedding to plan?”

She nods her excitement.  “Come on, I’ll show you what I have so far.”

The wedding was beautiful.  All of her family and friends were there, and I even managed to convince Iz to make an appearance.  He was happy for us, no doubt, but I could always sense his wariness.  He knew better than anyone the risks that came with this job, and he knew the heartbreak it could cause.  Iz never talked about it much, but I knew that he had once loved someone not from the Time Administration, someone who was a part of the Original Timeline, like my beautiful bride was.

If I remember correctly, she was from the year 1920 and they met in 1940, right before she became a nurse for the Allied Forces in World War ll.  Iz was there when the bombs fell on the hospital she was working at.  He had gone to the Time Administration and asked if there was a way to reverse the damage, but the Time Settlers had already gone to the time zone and made the event permanent, which was something even the Time Administration couldn’t undo.  It had left him more brokenhearted than he ever cared to admit, but I understood his reservations about my wedding.

Shortly after the wedding, I was called to the year 2309 to help with a disturbance.  Humans had finally learned how to build a time machine, which us time trekkers laughed at.  Simple human minds, taking centuries to develop the right technology to master the power the Time Administration already had.  Of course, we had to put a stop to their discoveries so they wouldn’t wreak havoc on the Original Timeline or anything else the Time Administration has worked so hard to achieve and keep in order.

When I came back, it was already three years later in the Original Timeline.  She had waited for me, but I had kicked myself for missing so much of our life together.  She had become pregnant, and I had to leave before the baby was born.  When I came back again, our son was six.

Which leads me to now, standing in front of the six Time Administration representatives.  “All I’m asking for is more Time Train stations along the Original Timeline.  I’m missing parts of a life that I created, and I can’t keep doing that.  My son is starting school in a few days.  I missed so many pivotal years of his childhood.”

“We hear your grievances,” one of the representatives says to me, “but unfortunately the Time Administration can’t cater to those needs.  We spent countless decades trying to figure out the most crucial points in the Original Timeline so we could place the Time Train stations at specific access points.  Adding new ones would disrupt the flow of the Time Train, thus making it extremely difficult to reach certain points.”

“But-”

“I understand the frustrations that come with being involved in the Original Timeline, but there’s nothing we can do without disrupting the order of time itself.  We’re very sorry.”

I look each of them in the eye in turn, pleading with them to change their minds.  But they’re right.  It would be selfish of me to try to change the order of time just so I could have the life I want.  Who knows how many other lives would be affected because of my egotistical wants?  As much as I love my family and want nothing more than to spend every minute of every day with them, the fate of the universe has to come first.

“Thank you for your time,” I say to the representatives before turning and walking out of the meeting room.

Iz waits for me outside.  “Didn’t go like you hoped?” he asks, reading the disappointment on my face.  I shake my head.  “At least you can tell her you tried.”

“Yeah,” is all I can manage to say.

“Thank you for trying,” she says, sitting on our bed next to me.

“I just wish there was more I could do,” I tell her, not even bothering to hide my frustration.  “It’s not fair to you.”

“No,” she agrees.  “But it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the world either if I got what I wanted and they couldn’t.  I mean think about Iz; he wanted to go back and save his love but there were parameters put in place to guard against that.  If the Time Administration just did whatever they wanted to cater to the needs of time trekkers, there would be no order.  My life – our life – would be in such shambles that it wouldn’t even make sense.  There’s even the possibility that we never would’ve met.”

I give her a sidelong glance.  She’s absolutely right, but it doesn’t make things any easier.  “I just miss you, and our son,” I say quietly.

“And we miss you too,” she says softly.  “But remember, you’re our hero.  You’re saving the world for us, for everyone.”

I sigh and rest my head on her shoulder.  “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I think it’s all that charm you used,” she says with a light laugh.  “I just couldn’t resist.”

I was able to visit quite a few times within those twenty years.  I got to see my son graduate from primary, middle, and high school and help him move into and out of college.  I got to help my daughter with the same things.  I got to hold her as a toddler a couple times, something I didn’t get to do with my son.  I cherished those moments more than almost anything else.

“It’s like having a couple pieces of you with me,” my wife would tell me each time I came home as we would watch our children at the various stages of their lives.  “It helps me get through the tough days.”

All of their lives flashed before my eyes quicker than I could accept.  I was a father-in-law and grandfather before I knew it and despite all my experience with time, my life’s timeline was the one thing I couldn’t wrap my head around.  As my family continued to grow, I was able to spend increasingly more amounts of time with them.  The Time Administration had decided that more Time Train stations needed to be put in place as the Original Timeline moved forward.

Life was going amazingly well, until I got the news…

“How long did they say?” I ask, my face grave.

“Not too long, a couple months, maybe a year,” my daughter tells me.  “But they say she’s been a fighter.”

“Your mother always has been,” I say quietly.

“Do you think you’ll be able to come back more frequently?” she asks.

“It’s hard to say, but they’ve been adding on more Time Train stations, which probably means something big is going to happen soon.  Either way, I’ll do my best to be here as often as I can.”

“I always remember how Mom used to tell us that the train was coming,” she says distantly, like she’s remembering each and every moment.  “I think those days were always all of our favorites.  We would get to listen to the stories from your adventures and then we would tell you ours.”

“Those were always my favorite times too,” I tell her.  “You guys were my rock when the rest of the world got out of control.”

She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my torso.  “Thank you for giving us a future.  Some people mean that figuratively, but for us it’s always been literally.”

I chuckle lightly.  “Very good point.”

The Time Train pulls up to the station in the usual fashion – clouds appearing around the platform all of us time trekkers stand on.  We all file on and find our seats.  This is the day I dread.  This is the train ride I fear.

The conductor launches us off into the nothingness of time, dropping time trekkers at various points throughout the future and past.  My foot taps violently against the thick carpet of the train’s floor, each stop counting down the seconds.  All too soon, the conductor comes back to where I sit and tells me the words I’ve been prolonging to hear.

“This is it.”  Not a question, but I definitely hear the concern lacing his voice.

I gulp, not ready to face what’s about to happen.  Somehow I manage to convince my legs to start working, to support my body as I stand up and trudge off the train.  It disappears just as quickly as it came and I’m left to drag my feet down the block to the house I’ve come to love.  My home.

Before I make it to the front steps, the front door flies open and I see my daughter racing down the steps and into my arms, sobbing.  “They took her dad,” she cries into my chest.  “I… I didn’t even have time to say goodbye.”

“I know sweetheart,” I say, holding her close.  “I’m so sorry.”  I take a deep breath, steadying myself.  “Do you know where they took her?”

“I’m assuming the hospital up the road,” she tells me.  “At least that’s what we had in our care plan.”

“Let’s go check then,” I say.

The drive to the hospital, despite how short it is physically, feels like an eternity.  I know she’s still alive, but the Time Admistration rules state that I can’t let any personal information about the future get out, even to my family.  Which breaks my heart because I can’t reassure my heartbroken daughter.  I know what’s coming though.

We pull into the entrance and a nurse points us in the direction of my wife’s room.  When we get there, my daughter rushes to her side, the beeps monitoring her heart confirming that she’s still alive.  We each sit in chairs, clinging to her hands when my son shows up.

“I thought she had more time,” he says, sitting next to his sister.  She leans onto his shoulder.

“We all did,” she says, her voice breaking.  “Right Dad?”

I look away from her, knowing I can’t share how I knew this was the exact moment their mother would die.  Instead, I lean over my wife until my lips are next to her ear.  “I love you,” I whisper.  “And I know I couldn’t be here for you when you needed it most, but there wasn’t a day, a year, a decade, that went by where you weren’t on my mind, where I wasn’t trying my absolute hardest to get back to you.  You gave me so much life, so much immense happiness.  I love you so much.”

For a moment, everything was silent, except for the beeping of the monitor.  Then I heard the faintest whisper come from her lips.  “I love you too.”  Then the monitor gave out one final prolonged beep.

Two nurses rushed into the room to see if there was anything they could do to bring her back.  There wasn’t.  Of course, I couldn’t tell them that.  My son and daughter had gone out into the hall, tears streaming down both their faces.  I couldn’t move.  I stared straight at her closed eyes, her limp body, knowing she was gone, knowing this was the day I came back to, the day the Time Train had dropped me off at.  Everyone around me was a blur, a buzz in my ears.

“Sir,” a voice said, snapping me out of my haze.

“Yes?” I answered, my voice sounding strained and distant.

“We’re very sorry for your loss.”  I turned to see one of the nurses standing next to me with a clipboard in her hand.  I didn’t respond, so she continued.  “We’re trying to collect some information about your wife.  Could you tell us her name?”

I lowered my gaze to the floor.

“I can’t believe you waited until the end of my shift,” she says.  “Most guys would’ve gotten tired of waiting around.”

“Yeah, well, you seem like the kind of girl worth waiting for,” I say, laying on the charm.  She chuckled.  “By the way,” I continued, looking at her, “I never did catch your name.  I figure if this is going to go anywhere, I should at least know what to call you.”

She looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye.  “Reno,” she said.  “My name is Reno.”